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07/08/2002 Entry: "Motivate Me"

My mom is here! I spent July 4th weekend being a jeweller. We had a little booth at a doctor's convention;jewelry was part of the 'Non-Pharmaceutical Exhibit'. Sitting there, in front of a table full of jewelry, I was reminded of why I am not a jeweller. They are all sparkling, beautiful pieces of art; and yet, I don't care much for them. My mom can spend the whole day looking at these precious gems,but I can't go an hour without yawning, my stomach growling, thinking of its next meal. A customer comes: "Is this yellow sapphire or citrine?" I stumble around, looking for my mom... "Uuh...I think it's yellow sapphire". Well, turns out I was right, but I still felt like a fool. It wasn't good for my ego to be there. It seemed that the longer I sat there, the more hopeless I felt that I would ever be a good businesswoman.

I need some motivation. Someone feed me some, please. I went to Borders and spent an hour in the self-help section. Do I really need to be here? Ashamed as I was to be there, I really needed to read something that would make me feel good... something that would reassure me that what I'm doing is right. So I came out with 3 books, Success@Life, Quarter Life Crisis, and Good Girls Guide to Negotiating. I feel better already.