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08/28/2002 Entry: "A bit discouraged"

I am somewhat discouraged -- things are not going as planned. I expected to work with my brother, helping him plan the expansion of his restaurants. Monday, I tagged along to the commissary, where they prepared sauces, dimsum, roast pigs and ducks. It wasn't as clean as I expected it to be. There were five chinese chefs, commanding more than a dozen prep boys in a huge factory-like kitchen. Stinky, wet, hot, and humid, it wasn't a place I wanted to work in. I spent that day shadowing my brother. His day consists of moving from office to office, reading sales reports and signing checks. I'm not sure what value I can add to his company. Did I give up too soon? I don't know. I'm still thinking about what I should do. Another problem... there's no pressure for me to do anything here. Everything is provided for me. I need money? Mom hands me some. Food? Not a problem either. I really should try to make the most of my stay here, but I feel quite lost right now.